I should blog more often

Yes. I think I should. With lots of things going on in my life right now, the trips, the learnings, the experiences, blogging is perfect for me. I'm just really lazy and I have not been writing (freely: out of the bounds of work reports and requirements) for months so I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with blogging regularly like my girlfriend does.

Anyway to start the year of the rabbit, (as if it matters what year of what it is at all) I thought of a flashback to my 2010. Every one's doing it anyway. Sites features 2010 in films, 2010 in news, top tourist destination of 2010 and whatever listology people think interesting. They even involve people now in deciding what's hot and what's not in 2010. Twitter and FB are gaining some ground in public opinion lately. Of course there's a question of representation of who are capable of and have access to these sites to comment but ok, FB has 500 million friends representing jejemon and bourgeois alike so let's give them credit.

So going back to the list of things I'm thankful for in 2010...

1. an NGO job I like doing

- where I was introduced to the interesting and sometimes trivial world of development work

- where I was inspired to be a highly-paid consultant in 15 to 20 years

- where got to travel to different parts of the country: Davao, Cebu, CDO, Ilocos, Abra, Iligan,

Misamis Occ. and others.

2. travel to different parts of the country and the latest trip to Indonesia (my first international

travel)

- travelling is just so much fun. Indonesia is a perfect first-time travel for me and Krista. It's not too different from the Philippines; the fare (on promo) was affordable; their temples are adorable and historical dating back to the 9th century BC; their culture is a celebration; their food hot and spicy and masarap just the way I like it; their batik cloth; their monuments and historical spots well-preserved; their train transport system better than Philippines and a lot more things to love about it.

3. Graduation (the ceremony not the actual graduation/completion)

4. 3 years of togetherness with Krista

5. Trainings I facilitated.

6. Books I read

7. Movies I've seen

8. foodtrips

9. meetups with college friends once in a while

10. treat to friends and family (once in a while)

And a whole lot more. Thankful to God for all the blessings and grateful for the provisions. I'm sure 2011 will be even better.:)

It's been ages since I opened my blog

As the title states, it's been a while. I think blogging reflects how eventful the blogger's life is. The more blog entries, the more happenings. or it may also be the other way around. The busier you get, the less time you have to blog. So following that logic, bored people blog more often.

In my case, I'm not sure. I think I'm just too lazy to write.hehehe

Yah... That's it. I'm just lazy.

But right now I think I'll be blogging more often..

More trips.

More stuff to be busy with.

More interesting learnings (that is, experiential, haven't been reading in a while)

Just more...

Like right now I'm in Oroquieta. A modest city but I think a fun one.

I'm here to conduct trainings, so it's a work-related trip. Work is fun when you get to travel because travel is fun as discoveries are fun and life in general should be fun.

So here I am in a modest hotel, waiting for the few more hours to og out and dine somewhere with my boss.

I think we'll try Rhovic's place. A friend suggested we try that. She's been here twice so I think I'll follow her lead.

hanging

I woke up early everyday of my summer. I am not used to doing so but I have to. Circumstances are compelling me more than ever to shift my habits and practice things i don't necessarily have a heart for or a least bit of interest in. But then compelling means no excuses so I follow through. I still stay up late during the nights, still do a lot of thinking and reading and sometimes purely existing, but when my brother leaves for his early morning jobs, it signals my waking up after an hour. it went on for four weeks. Four-should-have-been-fun-because-it's-summer-weeks. But I spent it going to school, everyday. Taking exams every once and a while and answering exercises like forever.

But now it has ended and so I do not have to wake up as early as I did during the last four weeks. I don not have to take late afternoon naps to compensate for my sleep deprivation. I don't have to consume all the coffee in the sari-sari store every morning just to keep me awake and attentive during the excruciating, dragging and seemingly forever sessions in the subject I least take interest in.

But what remains of me are question marks, pasted on my wall like glow-in-the-darks. Haunting thoughts of what will be, of plans that are based on the immediate occurrences and should-bes. I hate waiting and anticipation. I hate the thought of not being able to take full control of everything I am involved in. I hate being left in the corner waiting for someone to open the door and ell me that its my time. I hate how things don't just go my way and how things crumble when everything I wanted depends on them, on the satisfaction of the immediate, of the steps before reaching another.

And so I take on the role of someone who waits even if it kills me everyday of my life. Even if I think that I'm aging more rapidly because of the lost moments spent in idleness and purgatory. And i don't have much choice either. It's all up to anybody's power to either draw like from me or fill me with it. What i only know I can do is to take courage, and be hopeful and be faithful for the passing over of the uncertainty and the hanging moments. It's hasn't been easy. It's still killing me, the waiting and all, but because of hope, every death is coupled with salvation. Light or darkness may not have the contrast expected normally, but the situation draws the blueprint of self i couldn't have discovered without situations such as these. I am able to realize how control, domination and even power are things I can't always count on, that i have someone bigger to count on and trust with my situation. When everything is falling apart and ripping my soul to pieces, i have a companion who carries and lifts me up no matter what.

I'm still waiting...and hoping...and i hope this too will pass. So help me God.